THERE IS NO GAME
Platform: Javascript/HTML5
This is not a review for a game. ...Oh, uh are you still reading this? I'm telling you THERE IS NO GAME. And Kamizoto didn't make this point-and-click puzzle game. I mean, he would have if it were a game. And he would have probably made it for the Deceptionjam too. But it's not. A game that is. If it was, it would be a great twist on gaming by breaking the forth wall like in the highly rated game Humbug. It would also have you chuckling at the humor and scratching your head as to how to actually find the game, as well as appreciating the innovation for this fresh, unique play. But according to the narrator, THERE IS NO GAME, isn't a game. So go away. Oh and it isn't anything to enjoy so don't even try. But I can see a rebel like you is going to want to prove the all-empowering voice wrong and fight against the machine, like you did in The Stanley Parable, then I guess you could read my next paragraph. You know, if there actually was a next paragraph.
Congrats on proving yourself full of curiosity, and that you don't always do what people tell you to do. You'll need that for this game, er, this not-game. THERE IS NO GAME is all about exploring, finding out what works and just doing things because you can. You use the mouse for this game, but you'll need to find out what you can click on or drag around the screen. While a trackpad works for most of the game, there is one part where a mouse is going to be best. The other thing you really need for THERE IS NO GAMES is audio. It is SO much better with it. The voice acting of the narrator is fantastic and really makes Kamizoto's game the amazing piece that it is. It wont take you too long to play through, as most entries for jams are short, but it's enough to entertain you for ten minutes or so, and it is very worth it. It's sure to put a smile on your face. Cleverly done, it helps you to be cunning, and if you get too stuck, The Narrator drops hints... though most hints are less hints and more solutions, but it takes a bit for him to get to that point. So enjoy yourself or not. You don't need me to tell you what to do. Just know if you click that big orange button down there you'll *not* be taken to the *the game*.
Well, I've actually gotten myself stuck on this game.
I can't figure out how I'm supposed to get water to the small tree. I used a website to make all the possible words from the eight letters, but none of those words are a container or anything else that could transport water like hose, cup, glass etc. would be.
Only you can go between screens. Do not try to move your stupid items between screens. It is useless. Your futile attempts to make the tree a champion make me sick.
My attempt to give a hint as if I were the russian narrator.
This game--er, lack of a game-- is great. Short and funny, and I love the voice of the narrator!
@ThemePark
Have you beaten the little brick breaker game on the left screen yet? If not, do that. You will
get a trophy that you can drag between screens. Use that to transport the water.
I really wish there were a game there. But there wasn't. I didn't have any fun, and I certainly didn't enjoy...
smashing things
...because it wasn't a game. Sad day.
WTF, I don't get it. What game?
OMG this was cute, best no online game I've played for a long time! And its HTML5 too!
Wouldn't load for me in Chrome (except for the description and the user comments, that is) - had to open another browser and allow the Unity plugin.
Amusing diversion (not a game!), once it ran.
can't figure out how to climb after the squirrel
I'm stuck at the screen where
it says in huge letters THERE IS NO GAME and the cursor changes to say "End" as if the game actually ends there.
Am I really supposed to believe him now after all that?
Bobo:
He came clean to you after that flood of glitches. He's got no more reason to lie to you.
pretty easy, but def pretty fun too
This is not a review.
[spoiler]
You are not supposed to look up. You are not supposed to keep watering the tree. You are supposed to leave the goat alone and thus, leave me alone.
[/spoiler]
Unity has *nothing* to do with this, it is a HTML5 Canvas Element and javascript and it ran fine on Chrome for me.
i ran into a real glitch...
after beating the brick game, i did not get my trophy.
so i restarted the game and got it!
Regarding ending the not a game:
I forgave him. What happens if you don't forgive him?
Being lazy; don't want to play whole thing again...
I really really liked this game, the voice was hilarious and it made you think in a slightly different way; a fun little 10-15 minutes to mix up your break time.
To becaro: I did NOT forgive him and I believe he:
told me to go to hell, of course he would :)
what happened when you forgave him????
to oreilly:
He wanted to be friends, then realized that would never work, we would get bored with each other and the game ends. (can't remember if anything else, it was a self-serving, "poor me" diatribe and just as amusing as his personality through the rest of the game. :)
Okay, I have an actual problem. For me there actually is no game. This is not a joke. This is not sarcasm. I'm honest - there's no game.
I see the ad at the top of the page, and the ad on the left, with credits/info below. And to the right of that is just the author comments and public comments. I don't see a window where the NG portal would normally appear.
Nevermind. Figured out the problem. The game uses Unity Player.
These are NOT the best lines of the NON game:
Save the goat...save the world!
The goat is a lie!
Found a bug:
After unscrewing the screws, the sound went into an (annoying!) infinite loop, and the panel didn't open.
I had to figure out what was supposed to happen by watching a video walkthrough.
Oh! Chrome blocked Unity. That's why I didn't see the game.
I encountered a bug that kept me from finishing the game:
I had dropped the metal box with the kryptonite tea many times and all the letters eventually bouncing off the screen, so I had no letters to spell any of the words
Saviour-V teleports in...
I've been had. I thought you could do more with this "game", but you can't. I mean, I've tried spelling out:
1. OGRE.
2. TEAM.
3. MEAT.
4. MEET.
5. MART.
6. TRAM.
...but NONE of those things I wanted showed up at all.
What a rotten joke!
Saviour-V teleports out angrily...
...
...
...
Saviour-V teleports back in for a moment...
Just kidding about the anger bit, but still, I half-expected a TRAM, at least.
Saviour-V grins, and teleports out again...
You didn't see the TRAM?
Are there hidden words/easter eggs? I'll have to try it out for those then. My first playthrough glitched (choppy), but Unity player has always been rather resource heavy for my old machine.
How do i get the trophy, not the brick breaking one the one for kongregate...there's a trophy you can get but i havent been able to actually get it, it says dont finish the game but maybe you say No when he asks for forgiveness
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