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Façade


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Rating: 4.1/5 (87 votes)
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PatrickFacadeFaçade is an interactive drama, download-able for Windows and Mac, that puts you in the role of a dinner guest catching up with your old college friends, a married couple named Grace and Trip. Using the mouse and keyboard, you're able to move around their apartment and manipulate objects inside. But Facade is no escape-the-room adventure game, most of the interaction involves, get this, talking to Grace and Trip.

Using a keyboard that allows expressions of about twenty-five characters—it also enforces a brief delay between expressions—you can say anything you like to the couple; and, if it's on-topic, their AI will make some sense of what you're saying and react, as if everyone was an improvisational actor. Initially everything is calm and good, catching-up, ice-skating on pleasantries, we've all been there. It doesn't take long before the facade slips and the ugly truth of Grace and Trip rears its ugly head. Unlike any game to ever come before, Facade forces you to think about social issues with no clear solution and deal with them as you feel appropriate, it challenges you with a dramatic, and most importantly human dilemma.

All this fancy drama has got me using a lot of italics.

Facade isn't without its faults. The use of a language-based interface was a bold way to go, and the game's creators, Micheal Mateas and Andrew Stern, succeed admirably at a problem that has haunted AI researchers for decades. When I say "admirably" I mean, if you type in-character, instead of dropping non sequiturs like "so Trip, I was abducted by aliens last night," then you'll get a dramatically appropriate response about 80% of the time, and the other 20% the time the system will fail gracefully. For instance, if you say something ludicrous, the couple is likely to look at you like you're a bit deranged, awkwardly shrugging it off with an "uh... yeah," and then jumping back into the previous topic. There are times when you feel like you aren't being heard, and this can be frustrating, but you can always chalk it up to Grace and Trip being self-absorbed yuppies you never really liked anyway, and then just keep playing in-character. The joys of typing in something clever and having a moment of repartee with a virtual actor, while rarely pure, do spring up from play to play, and those moments satisfy unlike any other play experience you've ever had.

I was present at a June 2005 conference where the final release version was demonstrated, it was a major moment, seeing someone type casually and get a response, but since then Mateas and Stern have kept busy tweaking the language processing. Playing Facade recently on a Mac, I can confirm the experience has been smoothed out immensely. Currently the two are seeking financing for "The Party", a spiritual successor to Facade that will offer ten fully-realized characters in a party situation. Just downloading the game, but even more so, donating a buck or two through PayPal, will help demonstrate to their potential investors that there's a strong market for this sort of play. In the meantime, download Facade.

WindowsWindows:
Download the free full version

Mac OS XMac OS X:
Download the free full version

60 Comments

A seriously interesting game, if a bit clunky. I'm very much looking forward to the Party.

Also, I'm so glad they included my name as one of the player-name options. =]

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Personally I was never very impressed by the game's language interpreter. As far as I could tell, it basically just looked for key words in whatever you said (assuming what you said isn't a specific phrase known to the game), and guesses at your meaning. There were a few times when it would interpret what I said as the exact opposite.

Still, very interesting game.

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Hints for "winning:"

Ask lots of questions. If they say "that helps me/him/her/us," you're on the right track. Sometimes it's better to let things play out, sometimes to just ask "why." The exact scenario changes each time you play, so don't expect the same things to be revealed. You need to get both of them talking, though, without taking sides, in order to keep them together.

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i found this game several months ago. attempting to create an interactive drama is quite an ambitious endeavor. i welcome the effort to transform the way games are played and how a player connects with the world of a game. this seems to be part of a move toward further blurring the line between storytelling and gameplay.

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Please someone help me? I waited 2 hours for all the stuff to load....then FINALLY got into the game only to be stumped at the very beginning! I am in front of a door upon which I knock.....and knock.....and knock...to no avail. I call out Grace! Trip! Anyone home? Nothing. I turn around and notice an elevator....oh....I must be supposed to enter the elevator! Wrong! I press the button....and I am back at the menu telling me if I wish to replay, I have to exit and load again...which takes another 10 minutes! Grrrrr! What am I doing wrong? How do I get the door to open?
Thank you anyone!

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Ah, but it wouldn't run on my computer. According to the author the program does some pretty funky OpenGL calls, so I am guessing integrated can't handle it. Another reason to get a new computer...

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I remember seeing this on G4TV and thinking it looked really cool, but I never got around to playing it,. Thanks for reminding me!

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Tiffany: Just be patient. If you knock on the door you should hear Trip saying "oh, she's here!" and Grace saying "what? I thought it wasn't for another hour!" and so on. Then Trip answers the door, and it begins.

Morwen: I know Facade has gotten a good deal of press (both in tenor and volume) but I wasn't aware G4 did a piece on it. Too bad there's no YouTube clip of that.

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I can't win. I just can't. I never say the right thing, and I always end up taking sides and .... gah! I like it, but its way frustrating.

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This game makes no sense to me. And I can't even be called my own name (James)

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Patrick...thank you. I went back into the game though and as you suggested, I knocked and waited....I knocked a few times as after 2 whole minutes went by I thought perhaps I hadn't knocked enough. I waited 6 minutes with no response. Can you (or anyone) give me an idea of the time frame involved? It just seems an awfully long time to wait for someone to answer the door.....but perhaps I am being impatient?

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It shouldn't be that long. A minute at the most, Tiffany. I'm not sure why its taking so long for you.

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Cloudego111 December 14, 2006 4:15 PM

The game was good, but i really wanted to rip my hair out. Not so much because i couldn't really do anything right, but because i hate people like that. yeah... annoying, but good game.

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I'm so bad at this, it's really depressing. :( This game is awesome, and I want to help them. :(

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Very interesting idea. I personally got stumped figuring out what to say... but then that's how it is in real life. Which makes me wonder, do we really need a game simulating awkward social encounters? I think I have enough of those already...

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I would really appreciate some advice from someone who understands computers better than me (ie: a grade 3 child! Lol!) I have tried everything to get past the front door to no avail. I have waited and waited for the greeting...but nothing. Should I remove the game from the computer and reload it? Will I have to re-do all the lead up stuff again (those extra programmes that took forever?) I waited so long for this game to be ready to play...I am determined to see what it's like!
Thank you very much.

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Tiffany: Have you moved closer to the door? (Use the arrow keys to move.)

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This game looks great! I cant get the bittorrent thing to work for some reason though...

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this looks so cool! too bad I have don't have a 1.6GHz. they weren't kidding when they say it doesn't work properly. it doesn't work at all. :( sad sad day. especially after it took so long to download.

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HopefulNebula....thank you....yes...I have tried moving closer to the door....I moved so close I was PART of the door! I moved to the sides and back and forth....I did a wonderful door dance....still nothing. Thanks for the help though....if only that had been the problem.

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This may be a huge step forward for programming and gaming technology, but I can't like this game.

The characters are just simply ugly people. The sort of folks I would run away from in real life.

The premise is interesting, but the characters lack of ability to understand basic questions, or worse, misunderstand basic questions, makes it even more un-fun.

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Hey Tiffany I am having the same problem, I knock and knock and knock and nothing. The first time I played the game I could hear the characters arguing behind the door, and now I dont hear anything except the knocking. I am using a mac, I was wondering if that may be the problem....let me know if you have any luck entering that darn door.

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Oh Tammie....at least it's nice to know I am not the only one! I do not have a Mac...so we can rule that out. I've never heard any arguing behind the door though. Isn't it frustrating after downloading all those other programmes in order to work this one, then waiting an hour for the "sound to decompress"....and not being able to play? I can't even exit through the lift (elevator) anymore to get back to the menu screen so that I can see if there is any support to email or anything. Aaargh!

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After countless tries and hours playing this game, I got them to DIVORCE!
Wow! Now I'm trying to make an outcome where they are happy and stay together!

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viewfrmhere December 16, 2006 11:49 PM

I have never been so frustrated with a game! It sounds like it's probably fun, but waiting hours for the exe file to load and then for the game to load and then the sounds, and then the game to open, just to accidentally hit the elevator, and now it won't reload. I almost don't want to give up because I've come so far!

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So, how long are we supposed to wait for this thing to load? It says three hours remaining, and that's just ridiculous. This game looks like a great idea, but I can tell there are some bugs in it. Like the door thing I've read about? Three hours is a long time to wait to get a picture of a door.

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Yeah, this is crazy. It's been a long time, and it still hasn't loaded. Should I wait?

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Talk about frustration, I've tried every keyword I can think of. Anyone up for showing a few in spoiler mode? The only thing I seem to get right is how to get kicked out. I've got that down.

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I'm on a PC I can hear them argueing but I also have to keep knocking and knocking on heaVENS DOOR....

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Wow! Facade is exactly the kind of game that shows the true potential of an immersive gameplay while leaving outside of the scope of the game the graphic quality. It's not a genre that is easy of approach for everyone, but it's certainly a good idea to follow in the future.

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to say the least, this game truly is impressive. having the interactive speech capability is an awesome way to go. granted, it's still nowhere near perfect, like they might answer questions i didn't know i asked (sometimes, i think they just look for key words in what you say and base their dialogue off of that), but it's still a daring and impressive way to go.

while glancing at the credits, i noticed that they referenced the neo-futurists... i've heard of them before, and regret not getting a chance to see one of their TMLMTBGB shows while i was in chicago. anyway, i scrounged around their website, and found a page (http://www.neofuturists.org/neofuturism.htm) that pretty much sums up exactly what this game did... they tried to break that separation between actor and audience, in order to make the audience a direct part of the scene... and hot dang, this game nailed it. i found myself emotionally struggling with trip and grace, trying to find the right words to bring them together... i say, cheers to making that oh-so-necessary connection, and props for using the right inspiration to go about it.

my biggest gripe... and really, i'm not sure if this is about the game or myself... of the two times i've played this game so far, i couldn't get them to stay together (which is my goal). part of it is, in real life, i really do know how to talk with people in order to resolve conflicts... but this game brings that ability crashing down. i found myself speechless at times, trying to find something helpful to put into the conversation. nada. i had nothing to add. that, OR, i had something to say, but the ability to only put in one line of text really limited what i could say. i could try to rephrase what i wanted in fewer words, but doing so usually took too long, and they've already moved on to the next topic of conversation.

maybe i'll have more to add to this later. i dunno. let me play a bit more, then i'll see how i feel.

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wow i just finsihed downloading this game for 12 hours and i didn't even work!!!!!

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wow. i usually suck at games.
not only was this game really cool and unique, but i actually did what i wanted to do on the first try. i got them to stay together.

whoo.

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Duchess May 14, 2007 12:56 PM

Okay, somehow the two of them argue too much, Grace went inside her room and both of them sulk, doesn't respond to me at ALL, and I can't get myself out of the door and leave. Perhaps I can't fit through the door? and it's so frustrating to have to reload it over and over to start a new game (and hearing the same message from Trip...)

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Alexandra June 27, 2007 10:44 AM

Please help me! I knock at the front door, but Grace and Trip won't open. And the elevator dosent seems to be working too. Tell me how to get in the apartmen. Should I say something?

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All that arguing and junk. Blechh. Too much like real life. It's depressing as all get-out!

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BoboDaHobo August 14, 2007 11:51 PM

For all of those having the problem with the door: It's (as far as I know) an OpenGL problem. There is no fix except to buy a new video card or try a different system. I had the same issue on my old desktop, but it works on a laptop I use now.

Great, interesting experiment. Emotional and interesting.

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hm... bizarre... i think i might have had a revelation... i'm not exactly sure, but i think i might have had a winning situation...

as mentioned by hopefulnebula above, it really helps to ask a lot of questions, and "why" is a very helpful question to ask. to quote from the screenplay,
GRACE - Ah, good, you're asking questions, see, that helps...
but i think it also helps if you really attempt to direct the conversation, instead of follow it. i used a few leading questions that helped to push the conversation toward where i wanted it to go. such as,
PAUL - Why did you let him do that?
PAUL - Are you sure?
PAUL - Grace, why can't you be happy?
At some points, I actually made direct commands, such as telling trip to tell the truth, repeatedly. i think that to "beat" the game (if what i did was beating the game, and it very well could have not been), controlling the conversation is key, even if you have to repeat yourself to get your point across. i'm tempted to post the transcript as a file, just to see what other people might make of it.

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haha, i tried to break them up and get with grace but i got them back together

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This game is hilarious! I got into a big fight with them and got thrown out. It was so much fun. I was insulting, kissed Grace, etc. At first they were in disbelief, but then I made Trip so angry he just kept telling me I had to go. I laughed so hard I cried.

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How do you make Trip admit his affair with Maria?

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Its a fun interactive game however i hate it when they start blaming things on your like..

Me: You love grace..
Trip: You tell me i dont love grace!!!
Me: no im telling you that you do love grace
Trip: and i thought you were my friend

sometimes they can say nothing at all! thats funny x]

i once had a glitch too where grace arms stretched she looks eek lol!

if you want to see something funny kiss grace or trip when you enter! They do the best face ever

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Ok, so if you want to know how to "win" the game, read this.

example

The game basically has 5 outcomes. The first one if for you to be kicked out. You'll be kicked out if you say offensive things, or kiss them a lot. The second is that Grace admits to sleeping with some artist guy named Vince. You get this option if Grace asks you if everything you've been doing that night was adding up to something, and you say yes. Then it will result in Grace leaving Trip. The third option is that Grace will admit she is an artist, and then she will leave Trip. You will get to this if you say no to her question of if everything you've been doing adds up to something. The fourth is that Trip will admit to his affair with Maria, and say that he forced Grace to marry him, resulting in Trip leaving Grace. You get this if you say yes to him asking if everything you've been doing that night adds up to something. And the last outcome is them staying together! Trip will admit his affair or that he was ashamed of his parents, Grace will admit to sleeping with Vince, and then Trip will admit to forcing Grace to marry him. They will say they need to talk and ask you to leave. To get either one of them to ask you the question, ask the one you want to ask the question questions like "are you happy trip/grace" or "do you love grace/trip?" To avoid getting kicked out, don't say anything offensive until the tension starts to build and they start arguing. Also, asking questions like why really help move the game along. Hope this helps.

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Anonymous May 23, 2009 3:14 AM

Whew... after 8 playthroughs trying to reason with them as I would in real life, I finally

decided to alternate siding with them for a bit and then just pinged on the key word 'why' and after they asked the final question I just kept spamming 'Trip/Grace - are you happy' or 'Trip/Grace - Do you love Grace/Trip?' and they shoved me out the door to 'talk'... which I assume is the good ending.

It's a good game, and it shows a lot of promise as to the future of how games could be. The responses to my statements and questions seemed wooden and sometimes just downright unnatural. Sometimes the scripted action got in the way of what I was doing such as

when Trip goes to pour a drink but stops at the photo of Italy and Grace asks you to sit on the couch... I was already moving towards the couch and sat on it before Trip said anything, but took my sitting down as me expressing disinterest in his painting... which made him angry.

Over all a good game... it held my interest for 9 run throughs, which is saying a lot. I usually quickly tire of having to redo things over and over. I have to say, there should be a way to lower the loading time and not make it force you to completely exit the game to retry.

Thanks for the memories.

-Psychonemesis

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The best thing to do is to

not give them enough to nag you on at the end when either Trip or Grace say "Look. I've peen paying close attention to what you've been saying tonight".
If you keep the player's "opinions" to a minimal, and not take sides, neither Grace or Trip will be able to come up with a decent argument. If you do this right, they will just end up saying "We're fine... You can leave now" where they will escort you out, and say their goodbyes. This is the only ending you can get that doesn't involve one leaving the other. HOWEVER if you stand close to the door one it closes, you can hear Trip shouting "You really outdid yourself tonight!" with Grace arguing after, so really, they're not as fine as they say. But Hey! You won the game, right?

Hope this helps xx

[Edit: Spoiler tags added. -Pam]

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Bara_no_Uta July 14, 2010 8:32 AM

The first time I tried, I didn't do very well. The second time, just for the heck of it, I put the lyrics to "Opheliac" by Emilie Autumn. It didn't matter how ill-fitting it was to the situation, that's all I would say. The text file thing doesn't work with my computer, but I ended up with something like:
Trip: Flirting with me... flirting with Grace... questioning if I love her... (something else that I don't remember)... is all that supposed to mean something?
Me: It's not the way I want to be
...Apparently that equals no. Anyway I went through the song once and almost twice. I got kicked out just after the first "doubt thou the stars are fire".

But anyway. They actually did a lot better that time than the first time, which was super weird.

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Hahaha! Oh man. This game is hilarious! I agree with everybody about how annoying it is when they misinterpret what you're saying, but it certainly is hilarious. I do realize this was made in 2005 though. An example of hilarity is when I came into their house, acted all nice, complimented their apartment, and said they looked happy in their wedding picture. They both looked at me with shock like "What?! You think I'M... not... DEPRESSED?!" "Well. Yes. You look happy in the picture." "HEHE. *awkward laugh*. Always the kidder! Pushing our buttons!". Someone please tell me how that's pushing buttons. Then later, when they started to argue, I said "Please don't fight" and was consequently kicked out the door before even receiving my cosmopolitan.

On a more serious note,

I cannot seem to get Trip to fess up to his cheating but I can with Grace. I also got him to say he was a phony for pretending to like nice things, was afraid of being poor, and that he is ashamed of his parents. What do I need to say to talk about Maria?

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This game has the worst installer that I have ever come across, and I've played thousands of games, indie and mainstream alike.

It's literally taken me 30 minutes to do 50% decompression of the sound files, for a 200mb game. This is just ludicrous. It should have taken more along the lines of 5 to 10 seconds - my computer is not slow, I can run games like Crysis on high settings.

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danijoy June 12, 2011 1:57 AM

This took FOREVER to download then it didn't even work. & its been 5 years, 'The Party' isn't gonna be made is it? =P

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How do I get Trip to open the door? I know for a really long time,but they're just talking

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i keep knocking and knocking and knocking and... knock... ing..... wait where was i? oh yah! KNOCKING!

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Charlotte February 2, 2012 1:04 AM

I love this game but they never understand my point, i say love and Trip says quit the flirting!! and i don't think them saying we need to talk just by themselves is really considered them getting back together. lol!! I also find it really annoying when he is making drinks then grace says do you want juice or water, then if i say i want a drink by Trip she gets all offended and starts fighting then Trip stops making the drinks! I just want a drink LOL!!! Then when Grace or Trip asks a question about helping out your spouse, and i say the answer that he/she wants, then they both give me this look and say 'WHAT!' and open up their mouths in shock, then the next time i played i answered the question differenetly to before and they do the same thing! I love this game but it needs sooooooooooo much fixing up!!

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I'm playling on mac but it keeps saying loading, the specs all look fine so I should be able to play it...I've been waiting forever what's wrong wit it

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Italyfangurl July 8, 2012 2:03 PM

Lol the game takes forever to download X(
it took me all night!!! So if you have a tiny netbook, you need to wait so it can load!! >//.// and DONT say melon!! Trip will kick you out
LIKE THAT!!

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mello.malinko July 22, 2012 8:39 PM

this game reminds me of how bad my social skills are with mentaly normal people ._.

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paige1stherag3 July 29, 2012 1:52 AM

Someone help! I'm not sure if this is a spoiler or not, but I'll put a tag just in case.

I'm trying to get the ending where both Trip and Grace admit to cheating, and I read a help guide where it said to ask them if they're happy and if they love each other, but whenever I do that Trip gets mad and kicks me out!

Help please?

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I JUST BEAT FACADE!! I KEPT GRACE AND TRIP TOGETHER!!

Basically, I kept asking 'Why?' and 'Why aren't you happy?'. I agreed with Grace and some points and then Trip with the others.
You know how one of the asks "Ive been paying close attention to what you've been saying.. ________ Is that supposed to add up to something?"? Well these are the things Grace said to me:
- 'Praising me'
- 'Flirting with Trip'
- 'Telling me I'm angry'
- 'Telling me I'm not loved'
"Is that supposed to mean something?"
I then said "Yes" and she told Trip that she cheated on him before they were married, then Trip told Grace that he had an affair, then Grace told Trip that she let him stop her from doing her art. Then they apologised and asked me to leave because they were ok again. They thanked me and all was well!

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lachose2207 August 28, 2012 6:50 PM

Got some power ending !

- He admitted cheating
- SHE admitted cheating too
- He admitted to praise her parents etc... that hes an idiot etc...

The way I got it :

Just say "thanks" "nice XXX" when they show you something, and a lot, a lot lot of "WHY ?". It helps nearly all the time.
Say that you want to hear the truth when asked. Also when he asks "ok i saw you praiser me, her, you suggested blablabla, does it mean something ?", answer yes.

Stageplay if needed :

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Wed Aug 29 00 43 12 2012

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!

GRACE
What -- Trip, don't give me that look!

GRACE
You're going to drive me crazy!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Doug!!

TRIP
Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! Great to see you! It's been a while, how's it going? -- (interrupted)

DOUG
HELLO

TRIP
Ha ha, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
Come on in!

DOUG
how do you do

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
Doug,

DOUG
HELLO

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever! -- (interrupted)

DOUG
fine

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful!

DOUG
you smell good

GRACE
Aw, ha ha ha!

TRIP
Oh, Doug, take a look at this photo I just put up from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago...

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
(little sigh) -- (interrupted)

DOUG
nice photo

TRIP
Oh, well, thanks --

GRACE
Doug, you're always so sweet to us. Isn't he sweet.

TRIP
(clears throat)

(DOUG picks up the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Doug, Come -- (interrupted)

DOUG
nice bottle

GRACE
Trip, darling, your obsession with that photo of yours is making our friend uncomfortable.

TRIP
(little sigh)

(DOUG puts down the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Yeah, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.

TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.

DOUG
your decorating is nice

GRACE
(little -- (interrupted)

TRIP
See, I told you he would like it! There's nothing wrong with it.

(DOUG sits on the couch.)

GRACE
(little sigh)

DOUG
the couch is comfortable

GRACE
Yeah this couch...

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, for this corner of the room I had a desire for something... big... and bold...

TRIP
There's nothing wrong with it...

GRACE
but now I can see how I should have chosen a simple, comfortable... love seat.

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...

GRACE
Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out.

GRACE
I'm sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on this room...

DOUG
why would you start all over again

GRACE
Ah, yes, I've been waiting for someone to say that!

TRIP
What are you talking about?

GRACE
Trip, he is just being honest about my decorating, which I appreciate.

TRIP
No, but I'm just trying to be honest --

GRACE
Trip, don't worry about it. Decorating is just not your thing, that's all.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Well, we're all friends here, uh...

(DOUG gets up from the couch.)

DOUG
sure

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, n - no no no, wait, uh, w - what's wrong, Grace?

GRACE
Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...

GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing. We're, we're not.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus.

TRIP
Oh my God, Doug, oh my God, I am so bad...

GRACE
What?!

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
Uh, well, uh -- we need drinks!

GRACE
Trip thinks he's at his classiest when he's on the serving end of a swizzle stick.

TRIP
Why don't I make us one of my new drink inventions,

TRIP
I call it Grace's Inner Soul.

DOUG
sure

TRIP
Ah, Doug, you are an adventurous drinker, like me.

DOUG
yes

GRACE
It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol.

TRIP
What?! So, uhh,

TRIP
Doug, how -- how does that sound?

GRACE
Doug, Trip's getting a little carried away... maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us!

TRIP
Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

DOUG
wine is fine

TRIP
Grace, everybody loves my drinks, you know that, don't you? Everybody!

GRACE
Well, of course Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender.

TRIP
What?

GRACE
In college, you were a bartender.

TRIP
How do you know about that?

GRACE
Oh I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but... one time my friends and I went slumming off-campus to some crappy bar in the sticks, and we saw you there.

TRIP
Oh, that's great.

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

TRIP
Goddamn slumming it off campus...

TRIP
You hide things from me! You're so distant! You...

(DOUG picks up the brass bull.)

TRIP
You do, you hide things from me!

GRACE
(impatient sigh) Doug, can you believe this?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you...

TRIP
I know what you'll say...

TRIP
You're so damn positive tonight, it's annoying as hell!

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
What, what are you saying?

(DOUG puts down the brass bull.)

TRIP
Goddamn manipulation...

TRIP
Grace, I -- I just want to be together, and be happy, can you just see that?

GRACE
Oh, God...!

TRIP
Can't we just do that?

TRIP
Alright, you know what, Doug,

TRIP
I'm going to ask you something.

GRACE
Trip --

TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.

TRIP
Doug, yes or no...

TRIP
When you're married, can you try to change the other person to be even 'better' than who yourself are?

GRACE
What?

TRIP
Is it okay to try to quote-unquote 'improve' your spouse, even if you need that same improvement yourself?

TRIP
Yes or no.

DOUG
no

GRACE
What...?!

GRACE
Oh, yes, that's fine... that's fine...

GRACE
Don't you see, Trip?! Our marriage... is a sham, Trip! Don't you see that? It's all fake, all pretend...

(DOUG sits on the couch.)

TRIP
Oh, Jesus...!

(DOUG gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Uhh! Yeah, go on, go away!

(DOUG picks up a trinket 4.)

TRIP
I can't frigging take this!

TRIP
Oh... Shit!

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
What? uhh... w -- what are you saying?

GRACE
What, I can't hear you, are you talking to me?

(DOUG puts down a trinket 4.)

TRIP
What's it to you?

(DOUG comforts trip.)

TRIP
Doug, this has never ever happened before...!

DOUG
its ok

GRACE
Doug, in -- in what you said before, about helping your spouse... I think that tells us something about Trip.

TRIP
Oh ho, so we're talking about me, are we?

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
What?

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..

TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that!

GRACE
Of course nobody thinks to ask me what I want.

DOUG
yes

GRACE
Yes?

TRIP
Oh, now it's all my fault. Just because your parents and I get along, now it's some big conspiracy.

GRACE
God...

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.

DOUG
yes

GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.

TRIP
Afraid of my parents?! My -- (interrupted)

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
Why?

GRACE
Ah, that helps him.

TRIP
What!? That's ridiculous. Why would I -- why would I be afraid of their stupid meatloafs and their tacky house and their crappy wine...?

GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.

TRIP
You know, I can't say Grace never acts loving towards me...

TRIP
Doug, She's all over me at our goddamn parties, trying to look good in front of the guests!

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Why?

TRIP
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps us... See, Doug, her acting loving is the only reason I like our stupid parties.

GRACE
Doug, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --

TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --

GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --

TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Why?

GRACE
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps me!

GRACE
See, this -- this is how it's been for the past ten years!

TRIP
Uhh...

TRIP
No, I want us to focus on Grace.

GRACE
You know, Trip, whenever I really try to talk honestly about things, you... you don't want to hear it!

TRIP
What?

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Doug, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Why?

GRACE
Ah, good, you want to understand, see, that helps me...

GRACE
Doug, yes, I -- I need to feel safe to be able to say things...!

TRIP
Uhh...

TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.

GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!

TRIP
What...?

GRACE
Trip, it is such an act!

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Why?

TRIP
Grace, I'm not 'acting' when I'm being romantic... God damn...!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Doug, if there's something about me, just tell me what it is!

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Let's keep talking about us, our relationship.

TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?

GRACE
Trip...

TRIP
Like I always -- (interrupted)

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Why?

TRIP
Ah, thank you, just saying that helps!

GRACE
Trip, maybe if you didn't try to 'convince' me of things, I might want them more...?!

TRIP
Oh, Christ.

GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!

TRIP
What, I'm not allowed to be angry?

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
Why?

TRIP
See, I'm the one trying to reach out to you, Grace...

GRACE
Uhh...

TRIP
Doug, give me some advice here...!

TRIP
Okay, okay, let's talk about Grace.

TRIP
Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a simpler lifestyle.

GRACE
What? Trip, you know what I --

TRIP
Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't live any other way. -- (interrupted)

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Why?

GRACE
Doug, oh my god, you can't believe... Ugh!

GRACE
Uhh...

DOUG
no

TRIP
No?

GRACE
What is his problem? Tell me please, what is his problem?

GRACE
Uhh...

DOUG
he is caring

GRACE
Ah!

TRIP
Doug, you're -- you're saying I'm... I'm a loving person.

TRIP
Grace, you know I've never wanted anyone but you...

GRACE
No?

TRIP
N -- no...! Doug, I, I -- I mean, no... heh...

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
Why?

TRIP
Okay, I'm sick of this bullshit!!

TRIP
Doug, I know what you're hinting at, okay?!

TRIP
about me...

TRIP
about our marriage...

(DOUG picks up a trinket 7.)

TRIP
Do you two want the truth? Huh?

DOUG
sure

TRIP
Doug, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Grace?

GRACE
Yes...!

(DOUG puts down a trinket 7.)

TRIP
See, Doug, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying tonight.

TRIP
You've been pushing me tonight.

(DOUG sits on the couch.)

TRIP
It makes me wonder if you're really my friend or not.

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
Doug, come on -- yes or no...

TRIP
Do you really think that...

TRIP
praising me...

TRIP
praising Grace...

TRIP
and worst of all,

TRIP
saying I need to be more loving...

TRIP
but especially what you said about trying to change the other person...

TRIP
that I'm supposed to realize something about myself from all that?

TRIP
Is all of that arguing intended to mean something, or...

DOUG
yes

TRIP
Right.

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
I've been having an affair.

GRACE
Oh my God.

TRIP
It's over now, though.

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
But how could you --

TRIP
(big sigh) with the client, in, uh, Barcelona.

GRACE
Maria.

TRIP
I was lonely, Grace.

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
But, but, I -- I regret it, I really, really regret it.

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
Oh my God...!

(DOUG gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Doug, I --

GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
Trip...

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
In college... I was in love with someone else.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
An art major, named Vince.

TRIP
An art major named Vince --

GRACE
And...

GRACE
And I slept with him.

TRIP
Y -- y -- you what?

GRACE
The night before you proposed to me.

DOUG
why ?

GRACE
I jinxed our marriage, Trip.

GRACE
I jinxed it. I'm sorry.

GRACE
This is all my fault.

TRIP
Uhh... huhh... ho... wow... uhh...

TRIP
Uhh... I'm glad you finally told me.

TRIP
Jesus...!

TRIP
Okay, Doug, Grace, I have one more thing to say...

GRACE
Again?!

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
See... I'm... ashamed of my parents.

DOUG
why .

GRACE
What!? Your parents are great.

GRACE
I love seeing them...

TRIP
I know, I know. But compared to yours... they're so ... ignorant.

GRACE
But they're real. I hate how my parents are pretending to be something --

TRIP
I've tried hard to be like your family --

GRACE
Trip... really? ... I don't --

TRIP
But I feel like a phony. I feel like I can never get rid of my past.

DOUG
why ?

TRIP
It's kind of like I don't know who I am anymore.

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

(DOUG comforts trip.)

GRACE
Oh my God...!

GRACE
This changes everything...

TRIP
Yeah.

TRIP
You feel like you ruined everything from the start...

GRACE
You finally admitted it -- you felt very alone... and you had an affair...

TRIP
You think I'm a phony for despising my upbringing...

GRACE
But at least you had a real upbringing, it's me who had a fake one...

DOUG
i like you both

TRIP
Doug, I --

GRACE
Doug, we...

TRIP
Look, we -- we need to talk...

DOUG
ok

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
And no, Doug, you don't need to say anything more...

TRIP
Doug, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.

DOUG
i ll leave now then

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
And no, Doug, please, it's okay...

DOUG
see you soon

(DOUG hugs grace.)

(DOUG kisses grace.)

(DOUG kisses trip.)

GRACE
Bye. Thanks.

(Trip closes the front door.)

Reply
mattskibajr58 May 22, 2013 2:48 PM

I seriously want to just play this game just to be like Pewdiepie :D

Reply
tatortottaloe November 17, 2013 9:19 PM

It's been an hour now and it is still decompressing the sound at 0% . My computer is brand new so what is the problem? Do I just have to wait another hour?

Reply

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